I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
