I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
