new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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