I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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