I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
