Cold hands, warm shart.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
