It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
