I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
