i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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