Got a toothbrush?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i think my mom watched the whole time
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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