she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We just shotgunned beers for America
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
