just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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