triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
