my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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