you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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