I cannot find my penis.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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