I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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