I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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