The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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