I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
