We won't sleep together?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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