If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
