she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
