He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
