2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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