idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
