We're facebook friends in real life
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
And then he peed in my hair
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
