Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
