How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
