An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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