didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
