I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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