Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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