i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
