Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My bed smells like the plague
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
