He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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