We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
