Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
