Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
