I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
