Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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