The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Are my feet made of real feet?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize