My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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