white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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