I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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