i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
