I want to stick my p in your. b.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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