I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
