I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
