she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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