It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
