so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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