i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
